July 21

This weeks has been... up and down? :P I think I had my first breakdown, haha, but my companion was pretty impressed, because she says new missionaries usually have it during their second week, and i'm on my 4th or so now :P So, yay? Haha. But I'm doing good now, I think it was just a lot of pent up stress that wasn't getting out, so I had 2 days of slightly strange emotions :P and the unfortunate part of that is that one of those days was my first interview with the new mission president... so I started crying during my interview. Haha, so now he probably thinks I'm a kinda emotional and having a hard time with missionary work. I mean, it is difficult, but not to the crying point like that :P Bah. Whatever. 

 

I think several things were getting to me. I think one of them was I was thinking missionary work in Korea would be a bit more like it is in America, where they have quite a number of short appointments, like 30 minutes or 1 hour, in one day. However in Korea, that's impossible. You are LUCKY if you have 3 appointments in a day (and they are LOONG), and it happens rather frequently that you don't have any that day, or appointments get cancelled. So I felt like we weren't doing ANYTHING, but that's just missionary work in Korea; it's slow. The other things bothering me were having no clue what people are saying, and not being able to participate in discussions. I was thinking, I'm supposed to be a MISSIONARY, but I'm not really able to contribute to this discussion beyond saying whatever my companion asks me to say. I know it takes time to learn the language, but I wasn't really feeling much like I was doing or contributing much, which was frustrating. And if I'm not speaking, how am I supposed to practice and learn? 

 

I was just stressed with the language, with teaching, with being "spiritual enough" or whatever, etc. And it just kind of built up, I just want to do SO MUCH! My mission is only so long, so I don't want to have to wait until later to be able to do this. But I let it out, and now I feel good :P :) I feel back on track and am able to focus better on what I need to be doing. I saw a video that I really liked, you should watch it. Choose You This Day

It's super good. The part that goes something like "I might not be able to do much this day, but I'll do what I can"  has been going through my head all week. I honestly can't do that much yet. But I'm doing my best to do what I can as best I can, so that I know that I tried my best, and I know the Lord will help me learn and progress till I am able to do more. 

 

I studied Ether 12:27 a LOT this week, like, I spent my whole personal study time on it for 2 days! I learned a lot from it, and looking up all the cross-references at the bottom of the page. Some of the major things I learned from it is we really NEED weaknesses, and we should be grateful that we have them. Without weakness, we would not need the Atonement, and we would also not progress, which would kind of defeat the purpose of living. So God GIVES us weaknesses, because it is through them that we learn to rely on the Lord, be humble, and progress. We should be grateful for weakness, because then that allows us to see Christ's help and all He does for us and strength in our lives as He helps us with the Atonement. 

 27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

 

Anyways, this past week was really bad, as far as meeting with people goes. They either cancelled, or had no time, so not much has happened. Though we did have some meals with members, which was great. There was this one family that I am just in love with from the Korean ward. They were SO nice, and the food was SO good, and they didn't stuff it down our throats :P Because in their eagerness to feed, sometimes Koreans do that :P We have an appointment this coming week that my companion warned me about, so I put in my planner to wear a loose fitting skirt that day :P 

 

On Sunday, we attended the American military branch the whole time, because we taught the "Sharing Time" part of Primary. Teaching all those little kids was soooo cuuuuute! It reminded me of my time in primary :P And it also gave me a lot of respect for those teachers who put up with so much :P I would need to develop more patience for that :P We've had some fun this week learning some Hawaiian/Polynesian skills, because we are planning a Luau for both our wards to get together (something they don't really do) as wells as to invite investigators. So we have been practicing a few things, like... poia? poio? Something. I don't know what it's called, but you know those fire things that they throw around sometimes? It's those, but less dangerous :P Haha, it's just a cushy ball at the end. Which is good, because I would be soooo dead by now. But I've gotten a few tricks with them down, it's fun. 

 

Today was Elder Choi and Elder Hall's birthday, so we went to the American Military base and had some great pizza and TACO BELL! Haha. We had fun hanging out and playing some ping pong and Foosball. That's really about it. Just trying to work hard, do what I need to, learn, teach, etc. And not die or stress out in the process :P I can't believe there is so little time left in this transfer!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. It's kind of strange. I'm so new to being a missionary, so the end seems SOOO far, but some people I know are leaving to go back home soon, like my companion, Sis Sung. She'll finish training me, and then go home. o.O crazy! It's hard for me to even comprehend the end, because I still have so much time left :P